Perfectionism

Capability brings great responsibility. Boy I'm busy these days. Work is very...work-filled. I thought it would die down some after March when there were major deadlines going on, but I soon realized that anything that had been delayed during that time now needs to be done, and is now being done somewhat under a microscope. Despite my bizarrely flighty teenage exploits, I have found in the working world that I am the complete opposite. Like serious other end of the spectrum, busting through the other side of the spectrum, opposite. And its a lot of work dangit. And once the standard has been set, its hard to slide back down. It is always more noticeable if someone who doesn't usually mess up messes up than when someone else does. In the former case, it is not expected, but it somehow is normal for the latter. Then throw on top of it the joy that others obviously get when that person does mess up. I don't necessarily always want to do everything as perfectly as I can, but I feel bad when the end result is not near perfect, and feel worse when I don't even try. It can be stressful. Such is the life of a perfectionist maybe. I should look that up.