Whining and Hating

So that last post was unnecessarily whiny. I did look it up though. I'm sure I've looked it up before since I usually look up every tiny little ailment I have just in case I have some ultra-rare disease. And geeze, how bleak! I thought I was bad, but some of the stories I read and the examples are a bit more out there than I am. I think I actually have it good in perfectionist-world. Thanks to a work situation that doesn't allow me to be a perfectionist to the degree that I would normally, I have been toned down. And thank goodness for that. The only weird thing is that I am completely aware of every little thing I do that is perfectionistic or that annoys others. In order to not do or say those things, I basically have to expend tremendous mental effort to be conscious of what I'm doing and saying at all times. That's impossible. But attemptable. It doesn't stop me from admitting mistakes either, as one article I read suggested can happen. In fact, I'd rather admit them so people will realize I'm not superhuman, not cover them up so people continue to expect an illusion. And I don't do things to purposely show that I'm better or something. People like to think that's what I'm doing. It's all good...I understand being a hater. I totally hate on people when they've done nothing to me (like JK Rowling's rich butt :) Believe you me, I would much rather not draw attention to myself.